St Peter of Damascus: Woe is me, unhappy that I am! What shall Ι do?

Woe is me, unhappy that I am! What shall Ι do?

I have sinned greatly; many blessings are bestowed on me; I am very weak. Many are the temptations: sloth overwhelms me, forgetfulness benights me and will not let me see myself and my many crimes. Ignorance is evil; conscious transgression is worse; virtue is difficult to achieve; the passions are many; the demons are crafty and subtle; sin is easy; death is near; the reckoning is bitter.

Alas, what shall I do?

Where shall I flee from myself?

For I am the cause of my own destruction. I have been honored with free will and no one can force me. I have sinned, I sin constantly, and am indifferent to any good thing, though no one constrains me. Whom can I blame? God, who is good and full of compassion, who always longs for us to turn to Him and repent? The angels, who love and protect me? Men, who also desire my progress? The demons? They cannot constrain anyone unless, because of negligence or despair, he chooses to destroy himself.

Who is then to blame?

Surely it is myself?

St Peter of Damascus

Book1 A Treasury of Divine Knowledge

The First Stage of Contemplation